Tendency to Equate Angels With Humans

A couple of years ago I visited a place in India where I’ve met a devote of the Hare Krishna movement. We spent some time talking about spiritual things, and during that conversation a topic of lust came up, that further sparkled a talk about Krishna and his human characteristics, particularly some romances from his life. The devote said how it was normal that Krishna had human characteristics such as erotic playfulness and that he had over 16108 wifes, even though he was a spiritual being of a high caliber. (by the way, if you add that number kabalistically you get number 16).

I noticed over the years that it is not uncommon for people who lean towards spiritual side to have such view about higher beings who once walked the earth. Similar perception is attributed to Jesus, for whom it is said that he was a husband of Mary Magdalene, which interpretation is obtained from the early Christian texts, primarily the Gospel of Philip. If you ask many of the believers of the Christian faith, they will tell you: “despite of all he was also a human.” Continue reading


Becoming a Spiritual Master

There are many ideas out there about what spiritual mastery entails, and there are many people who think of themselves as spiritual masters. Many believe that to become a master, it is necessary to renounce the mundane life, to retreat to nature and live for the rest of their lives as hermits. Many believe that in order to become a master it is mandatory to be a celibate, and that having a spouse is an obstacle to that. There are also many that believe, that experiencing Reality through meditation is what gives someone illumination, after which they become enlightened and free from this world. None of these beliefs touch the core of what spiritual mastery really is.

Experiencing Reality can only give a person a clear vision as to what they need to work towards to build permanently in themselves. Even if they are for a very brief time given the experience of the Being, it is only temporary as the Being is not integrated within.

Withdrawing from everyday life to live as a hermit somewhere deep in nature, one is missing amazing opportunities to discover ones own darkness, the inner defects that emerge in everyday situations and interactions. It is this platform that enables egos within us to surface so that we can see them and eliminate them as they arise. Continue reading

Exercise of Retrospection – A Powerful Tool That Can Change Your Life

An exercise of retrospection is a powerful tool. With it we gain self-knowledge, insights, and understanding about our behavior and subconscious defects or egos (things such as anger, fear, pride, lust etc.) that have manifested during the day but have gone unnoticed, and as they go unseen they are controlling our lives. As it is said, ‘Life is a series of events’. The flow of the day sets out various events that we go through, most of which bring about egos within us, regardless if we notice them or not. Sometimes we go through difficult or intense situations, a chaotic development of events where it is very hard to be in the present moment and detached from our egos. These types of events can easily pull us in and drag us along, which means that we act unconsciously. Even if the flow of events is ordinary, there are still emotions, thoughts, and/or impulses that manifest within us.

From an outburst of anger, to a subtle surging of envy, in the retrospective exercise we can see all of that and get knowledge about the egotistic state (ego) and how it controls us. This then can change our lives, simply because, in the exercise of retrospection, we are looking at the events from the perspective of the observer, rather than the participant. Continue reading

Overcoming Inner Darkness Is Never Easy


About a month ago I’ve read something which seems to be a common belief in the New Age circles and modern spirituality. The author basically stated that she does not recommend going against our desires (such as lust and gluttony) in a way that we abstain from them, because, as she believes, such will be naturally abandoned once the Spirit sees no more meaning in them. I partially agree with her, in the part that the Spirit within needs to gain enough experience of life through suffering in order to turn itself towards the highest goal – liberation from the physical existence and incarnating the spiritual within.

However, this certainly does not mean that one day a person will just naturally abandon things such as lust, and will have no problem in overcoming it, just because the Spirit is ready. When the latter is ready it means that you will have a strong interest and aspiration to carry out the spiritual work, but it won’t be easy. It never was.

There are many people with partial interest in doing the spiritual work, but soon after they realize it’s too difficult to go against ones own inner darkness, and that such work is not for them. The Spirit within these people was simply not ready enough to push them to do what it takes to attain the highest. They will find another spirituality which is more suiting to their current level. And that is fine.

But if you have a strong interest to carry out the Work, and you find yourself overcoming inner opposition, despite this sometimes being a very difficult thing to do, it means you are ready for it and can attempt to carry it out fully. Do not fall into false belief that it is an easy thing to do, and that if you do not find it easy you should wait for a while longer. There will never come such magical rosy time. Even if your Spirit has tremendous amount of experience and knowledge, you will still have to face a full blown subconscious elements such as lust, fear, pride, anger and many other egocentric states which will try their best to kick you out of the path of transformation, so that they can survive and continue imprisoning you.

This is the inner war which leads to graduation from this physical plane, and thus full liberation and divinization. It is the war in which the light of consciousness must be extracted from the darkness, and the latter eliminated fully. This is done by conscious and continuous effort. A simple act of abandoning or ignoring something will not make drives such as lust or anger go away.

Pride and Vanity – Obstacles to Spiritual Progress

Image courtesy of rick
Image courtesy of rick

Some days ago I’ve read one very useful and important teaching on pride and vanity, in the book Pistis Sophia Unveiled by Samael Aun Weor. The pride and vanity truly are one of the biggest obstacles to any real spiritual progress. It’s so easy to assume that we already know something, which then stops us from exploring the teaching (or a technique for spiritual development) deeper.

Pride also makes a person stuck on a spiritual level they achieved, making them feel good about themselves and establishing illusion of success in their mind, which in turn creates a new comfort zone, and a person gets stuck.

There is a lot to overcome on our way to true peace and freedom, and pride and vanity are huge part of that. Here comes the abovementioned teaching:

“The aggregate or psychic aggregate of vanity impedes the correct relationship with the superior parts of the Being.

Vanity is a relative of pride.

Vanity is a charlatan. Pride is silent.

Someone will speak about certain things because of vanity, yet, will keep silent about them because of pride.

By dint of pride, any wealthy person could have in his residence an antique car, possibly from the last century. However, because of vanity, this person would prefer to drive a car of the latest model.

Hurt vanity causes frightful suffering. However, hurt pride can cause death.

When vanity and pride are united, they can perform monstrosities. “

Why Orgasms Are So Spiritually Harmful

Sexual energy is a very powerful energy that is part of the human being in many ways. It is a creative energy, which can be observed by the obvious example of procreation, but it can also be used to transform oneself spiritually. Sexual energy is often mistaken for lustful sensations and emotions that manifest in genitals, torso and the mind, but it is actually a different thing.  It is a force that sustain us, and that can ultimately liberate us from all suffering. Using sexual energies to transform oneself spiritually is done in the practice called alchemy (White Tantra), which as a base has transmutation of that sexual force. It is a sacred sex between a loving couple where mixed sexual energy of man and woman become the ‘prima materia’ of the old alchemists, the key ingredient of transforming ‘the lead of the personality into the gold of the spirit’, a process that takes place within the inner laboratory which is the human body.

Even if you don’t transmute the sexual energy within the practice of alchemy, but are just storing it by being chaste and are working on the first key for spiritual awakening (elimination of egos) and are transmuting it in the way that I will describe bellow, you would see that the amount of your physical, emotional and mental strength has increased significantly. Your inner state would be much improved – you would be much more balanced, focused, and perceptive. The sense of genuine happiness would occur more often; mental and psychic abilities would improve, your spiritual practices would get on a new level, your aura (which is also the sexual energy) would grow and offer more protection, and much more.

Now, with every orgasm (regardless of how it happens), the stored sexual energy is released outwards and lost. The result of that is strengthening of the egos (psychic defects, such as lust, anger, fear, pride etc.), reviving of some of the egos you have eliminated, and general loss of the sexual energy. Even if you never worked on yourself spiritually in a manner of removing egos and being chaste, you may still feel the after-effects in terms of noticing low states within you and/or feeling a lack of energy.

However, if you have been working on yourself for a while and have been storing the energy, the difference would be very obvious. You would feel  low, the mind would be more scattered, the percepetion of oneself and the world would shrink, and the overall sense of purpose could potentially be more lacking, etc. In short, the pulldown of the orgasm would bring about an obvious spiritual decline to everyone who has done the inner work for reasonable amount of time and has ascended to some degree.
Unfortunately it takes some time of the inner work in order to get back to a higher level and regain what was lost. It is explained that the Kundalini, the igneous serpent of our Being, goes down the spine for one or more vertebrae, depending on the magnitude of the fall. Obviously, the magnitude is less if it happens during sleep, than if it would be a conscious decision.

It is not possible to ascend along the scales of true spiritual development while indulging in orgasms. With each sexual fall or wet dream, the egos strengthen, the consciousness/essence weakens, and the person is kept at the ground level as orgasms continue to happen. To truly progress spiritually one would have to eliminate the egos so that the consciousness that is trapped within them is freed. For true development, the consciousness has to grow and develop, the Kundalini serpent has to rise, and the inner transformation has to occur. All of this is lost with orgasms because lust is continuously fed and the egos keep reviving each time it happens.

It can be very difficult to cut off the addiction to pleasures that the egos of lust and orgasms bring. But if you try and work on yourself you will understand that the lust you feel is illusion, a distortion of reality. It is suffering that keeps us chained to the material dimension of life, bound to material bodies, perceiving them in illusionary way of lust, and continuosly desiring them in unsatiable thirst that rules our lives.
But if you gradually eliminate it and free the particles of consciousness trapped within it, you will get something much different than the animalistic drives and desires.  The heavy energies of lust are then replaced with higher emotions, with something that is real, an energy that is light and beautiful to feel, and of chastity and understanding about what desire is. Alternative is being its slave, kept in the state of ignorance, kept from that which is Real, and kept from developing above the average state of being.

Influence of pork

Pig is an animal with very low energies, and eating it would cause pollution of the psychological centers (mind, emotion, sex etc.), which ultimately cause the human machine to be flooded with lustful feelings. Even if working on lust during the day, at night one would likely to lose the energy in the form of wet dreams (providing of course that one does not have intentional orgasms; if one does have them then eating pork is irrelevant).  It isn’t just pure pork that is causing that, but every food additive that is of pork origin. This is also something that you can verify if you work on yourself for a while, and then eat something that contains pork you will feel heavy lustful emotions in the front torso and genitals. It brings down your state of being and put consciousness in a dizzy state, depending on the amount that is eaten.

If the food you eat has only a small amount of pork based additives, like for example ice-cream, you don’t necessarily have to have wet dream that very night. But as you keep eating it the low energies will build up and after some days the nightly pollution will happen. It is said that it takes approximately 8 days for pork to get out of the system once it’s eaten.

Here  is the list of food additives that is of an animal origin, and hence potentially being of pork. It is a vegetarian list so not all E-numbers here are spiritually harmful because some are made of insects etc.
Many of vitamins B in food products can also be extracted from pork – these are vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B12. It’s best to get your portion of B vitamins from non-pork sources, like eggs, or verifying from the food manufacturer from where is it extracted. For more information on it see this link

Transmutation of the sexual energies

If you are chaste and don’t have a partner with whom you can transmute the sexual energies in the practice of alchemy, but you are practicing other keys to awakening, then you could transmute the stored sexual energy with a practice called Ham Sah. It is done like this:

Sit or lay down in a comfortable position, close your eyes, and relax your body. Then inhale very slowly through the nose while in the same time mentally elongating mantra Ham (“a” is pronounced like “a” from the word “are”) (Haaaaaaammmmm) and also imagining a light energy going from your testicles/ovaries up through the spine, into the brain and to the third eye chakra. Then you exhale rapidly and in that rapid exhale pronouncing mantra Sah (“a” here too like in the word “are”)  imaging this light sexual energy (that is stretched up the spine and in the brain) dropping into the heart, where it is deposited. Then during the upcoming short period where your body doesn’t need to inhale for a few seconds, visualise that your heart radiates a glowing light. Then repeat the breathign again.
Do this exercise for as long as you feel comftorable. As with every other exercise, you shouldn’t strain your body to practice more than it feels comfortable. Perhaps starting with less amount of time and gradually coming to half an hour.

It’s necessary to transmute the sexual energy in this way because otherwise, after a while, it would cause a nightly pollution. As one author puts it, “the glass that is full will inevitably spill”. This is related to sexual energies and not semen. Non-ejeculated semen is always naturally pulled upwards by the body and excess is discarded during urination. According to one author, such naturally pulled-up semen enriches the blood hormones and this in turn slows down the aging process. Sexual energy on the other hand is not naturally pulled up – it is required of us to do it with the practice of transmutation.

Due to this type of breathing that entails slow inhalation and rapid exhalation, if you do it properly, you will notice that after each exhalation your lungs won’t require immediate air intake as they normally do. Don’t be scared of that, it’s a normal thing that happens during such breathing exercise. Samael Aun Weor mentions that this exercise can also result in the highest form of samadhi, which is a state of meditation where the consciousness is liberated from all the components of the psyche (body, mind, egos, emotion) and experiences the Reality outside of the dimensions.


Here I wrote what I learned about lust, sexual energy, and orgasms (in the context of spiritual development) from my own experience, but guided by the Gnostic teachings of Samael Aun Weor. Refraining from orgasms and transmuting sexual energy is an integral part of the path I’m writing about on this blog. Taking up this spiritual work is definitely not easy, but it brings radical inner change. I understand that not many people are ready for it, but I invite you to reflect if you are.
Conscious work on lust and refraining from orgasm is not the same as typical religious celibacy, because in the former one is consciously learning about lust and transforms it into consciousness, while in the latter, in most cases it is done through surpression, which ultimately leads to failure.

Many people think they are not fit to work on lust in way mentioned in this article, without even giving it a proper try. One receives much spiritual help when embarking on this quest. Without this help from our own Being and other Divine Beings we would probably fail. Thus, praying for understanding of what lust is, what are egos, how lust functions and control us, and also praying for strength and spiritual power, is vital.

HDP, (last revised April 2019)

Self-observation for knoweldge of the self

This exercise is a continuation of the awareness of the present moment exercise which you can find here. Once you are aware of your external world, you gently and in a relaxed way bring your attention to your internal world. You observe emotions, thoughts and any other sensations that manifest within you. If you do that consistently, you will not only notice that those thoughts, emotions, sensations etc. are separate energies from who you really are, but you will also see how they are affecting and controlling your life.

Those inner states are in esoteric terminology known as “egos” (and more and more contemporary psychologists are using this term too). Egos are the inferior part of us – energies such as anger, pride, fear, lust, greed, gluttony, jealousy etc. They manifest in what is known as the five inferior centers of the body – intellectual, emotional, motor, instinctual and sexual center. These energies are part of the subconscious, and the spiritual work deals with transforming the subconscious into consciousness.

In the intellectual center they manifest as subconscious thoughts, which are thoughts not consciously conjured. The majority of the time it is these kinds of thoughts that go through our mind.

In the emotional center they manifest as emotions, and it is easy to notice them there. Emotions which we can feel can vary greatly. There is an enormous range of them, much more then those most commonly known. Usually it’s easy to notice big outbursts of emotions, but there are also subtle ones which can eventually snowball into outbursts or just keep us in low states without us realizing why we feel so low. Emotional center is covering big part of torso.

The motor center is located on the upper part of the back. Egos manifesting in the motor center can take control over our entire body. For example, a person is walking down the street and they hear some unusual sound in the distance. The person might suddenly turn around to see what is happening. This action will happen without the person really consciously deciding to do it. Another example is tapping your foot when waiting.

The instinctual center is a very basic one and is located in the lower part of your back. Usually this center keeps us out of danger, but egos that use it can cause a lot of trouble. The instinctual center can react with fear when there is no danger around, like for example when walking through a dark forest and imagining scary scenarios. Crippling fear then enters into the instinctive center and causes paralyzing sensations. Another manifestation is when you burn your finger on a stove and suddenly pull the finger back. Even though this instinct is a useful thing to have, it is much better when egos in the instinctual center are replaced by consciousness.

The last center is the sexual center and the ego that manifest there is lust. Sensations of lust can be easily observed and noticed, especially when an attractive person of opposite sex is seen. However, lust in the sexual center can also be triggered by fantasizing.

To be aware of what is going on within you and outside of you is really the complete practice of awareness. If you will only practice awareness of the external world, then your inner states will eventually pull you back into a daydream. The consciousness that we are is still very small and undeveloped, and it is like a piece of driftwood in a stormy sea – it is just a matter of time until it will be overridden by the waves of egos. To not allow that to happen you have to guard it by being aware of your egos and in this way you prevent from taking control. Buddha said how consciousness is like a candle flame amidst fiery winds – we need to surround that flame with our hands (self-observation) so that it doesn’t extinguish.

Similarly, like the previous exercise of awareness of the present moment, this one is also simple and after a period of time it becomes a natural way of living. It is the second foundational step towards the First Key for Awakening – elimination of the egos and their transformation into consciousness.